Last night, for the first time in 20 weeks, I had a WHOLE nights sleep. 10 hours, uninterrupted, more or less. After a month or more of getting through Ava’s first teething episode and her four month sleep regression I was exhausted, emotional and needed some time to sleep. I always feel so guilty leaving Ava, and there’s always a little feeling of failure if I ask grandma to have her for a while. But now that her night wakes and feeds have settled down again I thought I would take up grandma’s offer of a full nights sleep and a date night with Andrew.
Andrew and I spent the first part of the evening doing some Adulting and went to our local IKEA for a new dining table and chairs. We obviously spent money of loads of other things we
couldn’t live without didn’t need- Aloe Vera plant, anyone?
After coming home we totally acted like students and cracked open a couple of bottles of proscecco and ate frozen IKEA meatballs, complete with the cream and jam. Seriously, who even invented that!? Genius. We fell asleep watching a Pixar film and THEN I SLEPT FOR TEN HOURS. Well, I woke a few times missing Ava. But still. TEN HOURS. Sorry, I hate to rub it in.
There is a serious point to this post, though. That one nights sleep has taught me an invaluable lesson today. It taught me that IT’S OK TO NEED A BREAK. Seriously. I was getting to the point where I was sobbing fairly frequently, had no patience and was generally just running on empty. I was no good to anyone, least of all Ava. Being able to recharge my batteries has done me the world of good and I feel like a new person today. It doesn’t need to be a whole night, even a couple of hours sleep makes a huge difference. I always find it hard to nap if I know Ava could awake, or if andrew is home and they are playing. Any loud sound or slight whimper and BANG. That’s it, I’m awake. Not very restful. Andrew is great at taking Ava out if I really need a sleep, so I’m fortunate.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this, except I know that in the Mum and baby world there are plenty of blogs/ facebook posts/ instagram photos where life seems pretty rosy. Mum looks perfect, baby even cuter and not a hint of a dark circle under any eyes. This isn’t real-which is why I decided to post this photo. This is me, after little sleep, trying to get Ava to nap whilst shopping. Most of the time, at least for me, motherhood isn’t glamorous. It’s incredible and rewarding and oh-so-beautiful. But it’s also bloody hard, and absolutely exhausting. So this is the real mummy face. No make- up. No sleep.
So sometimes, we need a break. And do you know what? That’s ok.
Until next time.